I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
