what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
