You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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