words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
