I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize