erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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