I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think we might need a safe word for this...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
