you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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