he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You need a sexual gate keeper
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
