I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
where are you?
Hypothermia
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
