to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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