In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
