you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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