its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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