he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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