absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
