U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
