No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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