Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
