it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i believe in u and ur pee
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
