This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
