I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
