My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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