Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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