The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
