what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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