Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this just has baby written all over it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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