I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
