I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
