if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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