so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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