Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
