I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
