I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
