I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize