She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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