Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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