Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize