shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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