thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
