I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
