we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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