Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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