Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
