dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
