you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
