I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
