Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
