what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
