ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize