sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
