so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
