I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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