i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
