I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My balls are so social today.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
