pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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