Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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